

I hear the toilet seat in the bathroom clank against the tank and a loud yawn pierce the air. Or look into her eyes and mouth them? It would be a start. Maybe one night, when it’s late and we’re in bed, and I’m staring down at her, I can whisper the words. I just have to be good, right? If I love her good, she’ll know. My throat aches, and I can’t swallow, because I’m going to fucking vomit. I push off the wall, running my hand through my hair as I grit my teeth. “Ti…” I whisper, clearing my throat to make the sound come. I don’t remember ever speaking, so I don’t know what I sounded like, but this isn’t me. “I…” I struggle, the noise of the shower covering the sound of my voice. I’ll be her weirdo boyfriend who can’t carry on a conversation. I shake my head as my eyes fucking water like I’m a fucking baby or something. I can laugh, groan, grunt, growl… But trying to form words makes me sick. I squeeze my eyes shut, damn near shivering, despite the hot shower pouring over me. I cough, the bile rising from down low and making me choke. I open my mouth wider, trying again and tighten my stomach on reflex as I feel my vocal cords close and stretch across my larynx. I open my mouth, the water spilling over my lips as the words fill my throat. All the things I wanted her to hear when I was inside of her, and all the things I wanted her to know and things that would’ve turned her on even more and made her smile.īut I couldn’t, because I’m not even a fucking man. Slicking back my soaked hair, I let out a slow breath, thinking off all the things I wanted to say to her last night.

She fits in my arms like she’s a part of my body, and I can’t live with anything else but that for the rest of my life. I know that she’s the one thing I love more than the peak.

Waking up this morning with her wrapped around me, her head laying on my shoulder, and her nose and lips tucked into my neck as she slept so peacefully-her holding me and me holding her-I… Having her to myself, in my bed, was the only food I needed. We closed the door, and there was hardly a single second that some part of me wasn’t touching some part of her for the next twelve hours. I can’t even be a few fucking feet away from her, can I? Who’s pathetic now?Īs soon as we got back from the cabin yesterday, I walked her right past my father’s goddamn yelling about how much danger we put her in, we passed her room, and I took her up to mine. What is she doing to me? Everything hurts… I dig my nails into the tiled wall ahead of me, the world spinning behind my eyelids as my hair blankets my eyes. The hot water pours over my scalp as I hang my head under the showerhead. This bonus scene takes place during Credence, after Tiernan and Noah bring Kaleb back from the fishing cabin, and it’s a spoiler for the book. What happened to Tiernan’s underwear?! We never found out in the confines of the story, but we will now.
